


Keep It With You

by Synnerxx



Category: Metallica
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Insecurity, Love, M/M, Modern Era, Old Age, Older Characters, Tender Sex, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 13:29:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3069887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lars thinks that recreating a past look will get James's attention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep It With You

**Author's Note:**

> i just like insecure!lars, okay.

“We’ve hit a dry spell, which isn’t new, but this one seems like it’s longer than all the others.” Lars complains, massaging his temples as Kirk sips his tea.

“I’m assuming you’ve done all the obvious stuff.” Kirk says, putting his mug down on the table.

“Yeah. Romance, seduction, outright asking for it. Everything that usually works isn’t working anymore.” Lars shrugs, leaning back in his chair.

“What does he say?” Kirk asks, looking curious.

“Too tired, gotta get up earlier in the morning, not in the mood, his back is bothering him. There’s a laundry list of excuses.” Lars sighs, putting his head down on the table.

“Maybe they’re not excuses.” Kirk suggests, reaching out and touching Lars’s arm.

“No, they are. He always looks vaguely guilty when he says them.” Lars says, voice muffled by the table.

“Just give it time.” Kirk says, rubbing his fingers over Lars’s arm.

“I’ve given him so much time. Months! It’s been months. I just think he’s not attracted to me anymore.” Lars says, sitting back up.

“Lars, he loves you!” Kirk frowns across the table.

“Oh, I’m not questioning that. I know he loves me. I just think he’s not attracted to me anymore. Which, I mean, would you be attracted to this?” Lars gives a wry smile as he runs his palms over his head. 

“Come on, you know better than that.” Kirk scolds lightly, picking up his mug again and taking a sip.

“I don’t know, Kirk. We go to bed at different hours, we get up at different hours. He’s locked away in his garage, tinkering, and I’m doing business shit in my office and, even when I try to get him to go out with me, he doesn’t want to. It’s just rough, feeling like he doesn’t want me anymore. Not that I blame him.” Lars sighs, tracing a nail along the grain of the wooden table top.

“Why don’t you surprise him tonight? Dress up, be sexy, take him by surprise.” Kirk says, getting up from the table and putting his mug in the sink. 

“What’s going to make it different from any other time?” Lars grumbles, folding his arms across his chest.  
“Well, think. What used to turn him on the most? Use that tonight.” Kirk flashes him a smirk.

“I guess. That might work.” Lars bites at his lower lip, thinking.

“I’ll let you work on that. See you in the studio tomorrow. If you’re not too worn out.” Kirk’s laughter follows him down the hall and out the front door as he leaves.

Lars sits at the table, lost in thought, before smirking to himself and getting up. He’ll have to go to the store to get a few things, but well, he’s hoping it’s gonna be worth it. 

\----

An hour later and he’s not sure this is going to be worth it. The eyeliner sits innocently on the bathroom counter and he glares down at it. This is stupid. He’s way too fucking old for this shit. James doesn’t want him anymore and that’s fucking fine. 

No.

No, it’s not fine. It’s not okay and he’s going to make James want him again, even if he has to look like a rent boy to do it. An aging rent boy, but well, whatever. He picks up the pencil and uncaps it, leaning forward against the counter and begins applying it. 

It’s easier than he remembers it being, but he supposes it’s like riding a bicycle. You never really forget how to do it. He eyes himself in the mirror. There’s eyeliner and mascara and lip gloss. He’s clean shaven too. He glares at his hairline, but he’ll just ignore that. Nothing to be done for it right now anyway. Other than that, he thinks he looks pretty good. Not as pretty as he used to. There are more wrinkles and gray hairs and bags under his eyes nowadays, but this works. This is okay.

He heads back into the bedroom, glancing at the clock. It’s 7:36. He had told James to be home by 8 because he had a surprise for him. James had seemed excited for it and Lars hopes he still will be when he gets home to see him. He turns to his outfit on the bed and eyes it. Black dress shirt, black leather pants, and a new pair of shiny black boots. Just how James used to like him.

Getting into the leather pants takes a bit more effort than it used to, but he manages it, gasping for air afterwards. He shrugs the shirt on, buttoning the sleeves, but leaving the rest of it open. He drags a hand through his chest hair and down over his belly. He makes a face and buttons a few of the bottom buttons on his shirt. There. 

Another look at the clock tells him he’s got about seven minutes before James comes home. He puts on his boots quickly and dashes back into the bathroom for one last makeup check, dabbing a bit more gloss on his mouth before pouting at his reflection. 

“Lars! I’m home!” James calls from downstairs and Lars takes a deep breath. This is it. he walks out of the bathroom and waits at the top of the stairs for James. 

James gets halfway up, talking about the car show he had gone to before he gets a close look at Lars. He cuts himself off mid-sentence and pauses on the stairs. He stares at Lars, gaze sweeping over him. 

The longer James stays silent, the more Lars has to fight the urge to fidget. He stands still under James’s gaze. “Well?”

“What the hell?” James looks confused.

“You don’t like it.” Lars’s voice is flat.

“Are you wearing lip gloss? Did we go back to the nineties?” James jokes, but catches sight of Lars’s hurt expression.

“I knew this was stupid.” Lars turns away from James and storms back into the bedroom.

“Lars, wait! I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just a surprise!” James follows him, glad that Lars didn’t slam the door in his face.

“Well, yeah, that was the point. But you were supposed to like it. Supposed to like me. Want me.” Lars is standing at the bathroom counter, hands clenched around the marble countertop. 

“Want you? What are you talking about?” James appears behind Lars, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Nothing. Sorry for wasting your time.” Lars mumbles, reaching out behind him to shut the door.

James blocks it. “Talk to me, Lars.”

“I don’t want to.” Lars huffs, knowing he sounds like a child, but he really doesn’t want to discuss this with James. Doesn’t want to hear from James about how much James doesn’t want him anymore. 

“Lars, please.” James says softly. 

Lars sighs and lets go of the counter and turns to face James, eyes locked on the floor. “We haven’t had sex in months. We haven’t done anything couple-y in months. We’re not exactly distant, but we’re not close either. We’re not fighting, but we’re not talking either. I just thought this would make you want me again. I mean, I know it’s hard to want me these days, I look old as fuck. But I don’t know. You used to get so hot for the eyeliner and leather that I thought it could be that way again. But I look ridiculous and now you know.” Lars shakes his head and turns back to the mirror.

James steps forward and turns Lars to face him, cupping his cheeks and stroking his thumbs along Lars’s cheekbones. “Hey, you gotta talk to me about this shit. Don’t keep it bottled up. But don’t you ever think I don’t find you attractive or that I don’t want you. Things just have been busier than usual and yeah, maybe we haven’t been fucking every night, but Lars, I love you. You’re beautiful to me, no matter how old and wrinkled we get. Never doubt that.”

Lars squirms under James’s hands. “Don’t bullshit me, James. I don’t need your fucking pity. I know I’m not as good looking as I used to be. You and Kirk and Rob are still hot, but I’m not. Not anymore. And it’s what it is. I know that. I just...whatever, it doesn’t matter.”

James tightens his grip slightly and drags Lars closer to him, growling as he bends down to kiss Lars fiercely, smearing lip gloss across their mouths. Lars makes a sound of surprise and tries to pull away, but James doesn’t let him, kissing him intensely until Lars groans and gives in, opening up to James’s kiss.

When the kiss is over, James leans his forehead against Lars’s, panting slightly. “I’ve never not wanted you, okay. Never.”

Lars opens his eyes and pulls back a little. “But I’m old.”

“I’m older. So what?” James shrugs.

“But you’re still hot!” Lars protests, one hand resting on James’s hit. 

“So are you. Just because you don’t think so doesn’t mean I don’t.” James presses another kiss to Lar’s mouth before taking his hand and leading him out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, opening their closet doors. They stand in front of the full length mirror there and James situates Lars in front of him, letting Lars kick off his boots. James slowly undresses Lars, taking his time and running his hands over the warm skin and Lars shivers, leaning back into him.

“I wish you could see what I see.” James whispers, slowly easing Lars out of his pants and letting him step out of them. He unbuttons the shirt, pushing it off of Lars’s shoulders until Lars is standing naked in front of him. 

“I wish you could see how beautiful you are.” James says, running his hands down over Lars’s chest and stomach, tugging at Lars’s nipple ring on his way down. His hands slide down to Lars’s hips, curling his fingers along the edges of the bones as he bends slightly to press gentle kisses along Lars’s shoulder.

Lars sighs shakily, leaning more against James as James’s fingers ghost over his cock, which is definitely taking an interest in the proceedings. James presses up against Lars. “See what you do to me?”

Lars moans as James’s fingers wrap around his cock and start to stroke. His hips jerk into James’s fist as he speeds up slightly. Precome slicks the way along their skin and Lars shudders. James presses a kiss to the back of Lars’s neck, drifting farther down his back, trailing along his spine as he gets down on his knees, spreading Lars open for him. He gives Lars’s hole a delicate lick, barely flicking his tongue along the sensitive skin just to hear Lars moan needily. 

He works his tongue inside of Lars, tugging Lars’s hips back and pushing him forward. Lars braces himself against the mirror, breath fogging the glass. James gets him wet enough that he can work a finger inside of Lars and Lars groans, panting. “James, please.”

James smirks against Lars’s skin, pushing his tongue even deeper into him and Lars drops his head against the mirror, gasping as James drags his fingertip across his sweet spot. “James, need you, please.”

James presses another kiss against Lars before getting back to his feet and moving away briefly, smoothing one hand down Lars’s side. He comes back with lube, one hand undoing his jeans as he shoves them down far enough to get his dick out. He slicks up his fingers with lube and presses two back inside of Lars, working him open with long, deep strokes.

Lars shakes against him. “James, put your fucking dick in me!”

James laughs before pulling his fingers out of Lars and stroking his own cock a few times, moaning quietly before he guides it into Lars. They both moan as he sinks into Lars’s tight heat. James pauses, giving Lars time to adjust. Lars pushes back against him and James moves, slow at first, but faster when Lars demands it of him. 

James reaches around and wraps his hand around Lars’s cock, stroking in time with his thrusts. Lars is a mess, moaning, hips jerking as James fucks him just like he needs. His orgasm takes him by surprise, crashing over him and he lets out a hoarse wail of pleasure, barely able to hear James growling behind him as he comes right after Lars. 

James slowly eases out of Lars, one arm around his waist. Lars whimpers, turning around in James’s arms, and hugging him tightly, resting his head on his chest. They stand there, arms around each other, for a moment before Lars shifts uncomfortably at the feeling of come and lube sliding down his thighs. James peeks over his shoulder at the come on the mirror and makes a face at it.

They clean up each other, James brushing his teeth and Lars wiping himself up, and Lars wipes the mirror clean before going to the dresser to pull on his sleeping pants. James stops him and guides him to the bed, curling around him, both of them naked now. 

Lars faces James and runs a hand down the side of his face while James watches him quietly, a small smile on his face.

“Thank you, Jamie. I love you.” Lars says softly, leaning in to kiss James. 

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Love you more.” James smiles, tucking Lars’s head under his chin as Lars settles down, pressing his cold toes against James’s shins. 

James wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.


End file.
